Juggling

Have you ever seen a juggler in action? Imagine the level of focus and concentration, the years of practice before he can achieve that art of juggling. What goes on in his mind during his act of juggling? How does he progress from level to level, three bottles, four and even five or more?

The picture of a juggler in action came to my mind this evening as I was struggling to try to cope with managing the kids, thinking about work, yearning for free time to get started on the books I just bought, planning the menu for the week, marking my son's assessment after putting him to bed (and wondering when I can find time to go through with him) - all in one night. Too many things on my already crammed mind. I couldnt quite focus and concentrate and it feels exceedingly quite overwhelming. Perhaps two bottles first, I told myself, don't try to juggle with four or five in one night.

Now, a friend of mine juggles very well with her life as a working mum. Her act of juggling is a truly world class act, perfecto. Very inspiring and I still can't quite figure out how she does it. It makes me wonder at my own incompetence of being a juggling working mom. I ponder over what I need to do better to manage at least three bottles, maybe I can start with plastic bottles so I won't end messing up everything. That is, aim for small achievement, settle for less, expect less and learn to be contented with less. For instance, translating that to practical life, I can stop pushing my son in his schoolwork and instead of daily violin practice, try aiming for once a week. At work, I should perfect the art of delegation better, empower empower empower.

All contrary to what I read in "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mum" book.

Now seriously, talking about that book, the author seems almost like a character in a fictional book. I mean, how did she do it? How can she sustain it? I sometimes get so overwhelmingly tired physically and emotionally pushing the child to do more that I wonder if that is what I want my children to remember me of, rather than lovely memories with mom doing fun stuff. I yearn for simple pure bonding time with the kids, not having to constantly ask my poor son if he has done this or that homework, scolding him for work not done, work done wrongly and work done without effort. Sigh.

While I strive to be a juggler of five glass bottles some day, for now let's just say I have talked myself to learn to be perfectly contented to settle for an act of juggling with just two colorful, unbreakable plastic bottles. And more importantly, to learn to enjoy the juggling act and derive joy at the same time.